


Classicverse 1.3 An Epic Saga

by Elspethdixon, Seanchai



Series: Classicverse [3]
Category: Marvel 616
Genre: AU, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-12
Updated: 2008-03-12
Packaged: 2017-10-06 06:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elspethdixon/pseuds/Elspethdixon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seanchai/pseuds/Seanchai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers decide to introduce Steve to modern culture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Classicverse 1.3 An Epic Saga

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Эпичное сказание](https://archiveofourown.org/works/770245) by [ComradeSoapySoot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComradeSoapySoot/pseuds/ComradeSoapySoot)



> Disclaimer: The characters and situations depicted herein belong to Stan Lee and Marvel comics. No profit is being made off of this derivative work. We're paid in love, people.
> 
> Authors' Note: This and Classic-verse 1.2 both count as interludes. The plot will pick back up with the next fic, and gain speed from there.

Once upon a time, Hank had spent Saturday afternoons in his lab, not to mention Sundays and every other day of the week. Then he and Jan had joined the Avengers, and Hank had gotten the invite to stay in Tony Stark's mansion, which came complete with a state of the art lab more expensive than anything he could have afforded on his own. He would have liked to take full advantage of it, but Jan had made him swear not to spend more then six days a week there. It was important, she said, to get to know their teammates.

So now she and Hank were sitting in the living room of the newly dubbed 'Avengers Mansion,' Hank reading _The American Journal of Biochemistry_ while Jan listened to one of Thor's seemingly endless collection of long, rambling stories about frost giants.

Maybe there was something to this whole "spending less time in the lab" thing after all; when he was working in the lab, or they were both in costume, it was work, and he was just Jan's partner, Giant-Man and the Wasp, or Dr. Pym and Ms. Van Dyne. Right now, out of costume and lounging around Tony's living room, things were different. Like lunch the other day, which had felt almost like a date until the Human Top had shown up to crash things.

Jan was so far out of his league as to be almost untouchable, but Hank couldn't help hoping. They worked well together, after all and she obviously thought of him as a friend, which was a start. He knew she was joking with all the "Handsome" and "Blue Eyes" comments, but at least it wasn't mean-spirited joking.

"I can certainly understand our friend's plight," Thor was saying in the bass rumble that was his attempt at speaking softly. "Each time I return to Midgard after a lengthy absence, I must become acclimated to its customs all over again. They change so rapidly."

Okay, clearly Jan and Thor were not talking about frost giants anymore; what had Hank missed?

"Cap's been dealing with it pretty well, all things considered," Jan said, "but he still looks shell-shocked half the time." She smiled slightly. "You know, we should do something about that. Show him the fun side of 21st century culture."

"As opposed to the fact that subway fare costs two dollars instead of five cents?" Hank offered. He'd heard Cap rant about that at length the other day, and couldn't really blame him.

"He's around here somewhere, and I bet Iron Man," and here Jan gave Hank a significant look and a conspiratorial grin, "is too. We should find them and all watch a movie or something. There are lots of classics made after 1945 that Cap's never seen."

"_The Godfather, Star Wars, The Graduate_," Hank started listing movies, counting them off on his fingers, "_Psycho, Apollo 13, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Jurassic Park, Them!-"_

"Ancient sci-fi B movies are not classics," Jan interrupted.

"Actually," Iron Man's slightly hollow voice came from the doorway, "_The Day the Earth Stood Still_ is considered one of the best science fiction movies of all time." He paused, as if considering something, then added, "_It Came From Beneath The Sea_ is better than _Them!_, though."

"_Them!_ has a great mystery plot," Hank protested. "_It Came From Beneath the Sea_ just has a stop animation octopus that doesn't even have the right number of tentacles."

"I'm sorry," Iron Man said, "but why are we talking about old movies?"

"We have decided to select several films and make Captain America watch them," Thor announced.

"I thought it would be a gentler introduction to modern culture then he's been getting," Jan added.

"We need to show him Star Wars," Iron Man said immediately.  Hank was pretty sure that, under that red and gold mask, Tony was grinning in anticipation.  "He'd get a kick out of the space Nazis."

"We can't introduce him to new science fiction until he's seen some of the classics," Hank said.  If it really was Tony inside that armor, he ought to have known better than to even suggest that.  "You can't fully appreciate the subtleties of 80s, 90s, and new science fiction until you've learned the basic truth that aliens are always communist."

Thor frowned.  "Why are they communist?  And I had been given to understand that Star Wars was considered a classic."  He sounded disapproving, as if Hank had insulted him in some way.

"It can't be." Cap appeared in the doorway behind Iron Man, a book in one hand. Like Hank and Jan, he was out of costume. "I've never heard of it."

"That's because it's from the nineteen seventies," Jan told him. "And anyway, it's only a classic if you're a geek."

"It seemed to me a most excellent film," Thor muttered, sounding not quite sullen.

"You've seen Star Wars?" Iron Man asked him, sounding surprised.

Jan turned to Cap, smiling brightly. "So, what are you reading?"

Cap stuck the book behind his back, his ears turning pink.  "The Hobbit," he said.  "I know it's a kids' book, but I've always liked it."

"You know," Iron Man said, setting one gauntleted hand on Cap's shoulder, "Tolkien wrote a twelve-hundred page sequel to the Hobbit.  It's widely considered the best fantasy novel ever written."

Cap narrowed his eyes.  "You're putting me on, right?  This is like the astronauts getting fired out of a cannon, isn't it?"

The what?  Hank frowned, about to ask what Cap was talking about, but Iron Man was already talking.

"No, really," he said, shaking his head. "The Lord of the Rings.  There's a big, leather-bound combined edition in the library that you could borrow. I'm sure Mr. Stark wouldn't mind."

Jan glanced over at Hank, raising her eyebrows slightly and smiling.  Hank arched an eyebrow back.  Oh course 'Mr. Stark' wouldn't mind.

"Indeed," Thor was nodding, "it is a fine saga.  That is what you must see, my friend," he added. 

Jan nodded, sitting up straighter in her chair. "Oh, we should!  The special effects are gorgeous, and so is Viggio Mortensen."

"Really?" Hank asked, unable to keep the sarcastic bite out of his voice.  "I'm surprised you can tell through all that dirt."

"The stubble just makes it better," she informed him smugly.

Iron Man shrugged.  "She's the authority, Highpockets.  I'd listen to her."  Highpockets again.  It _had_ to Tony.  Who else would possibly call him that?  "But you really ought to read the books before you see the movies," Tony went on, now addressing Cap.

"Wait, movies?"  Cap said, he looked confused for a second, before turning to stare at Iron Man with wide eyes.  "Your boss has his own movie theater here?"

"Sadly, no," Iron Man said.  "Just a blue ray player and a high definition television.  It's a very large television, though."

"A what player?"

"It plays movies," Hank explained.  "Really high quality movies."

"Verily, it shall be the perfect way to experience Tolkien's epic," Thor declared, clapping his hands together with enthusiasm.

""No," Iron Man insisted, "he ought to read the book first."

"Oh for god's sake," Jan huffed, rolling her eyes.  "It's over a thousand pages long.  This way the end of the movie will be a surprise."

"Or we could ask Cap what he wants to do," Hank suggested mildly.  Cap was now glancing from one to the other of them as they all argued, a little line between his eyebrows.  At Hank's comment, he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck and ducking his head slightly.

"If the book's really that long, we might as well watch the movie first.  But I would like to read it.  Thanks."

"Excellent!" Thor exclaimed, rising to his feet to tower over them all.  "You have no idea what joys await you as we watch the saga of the noble quest to save Midgard.  All twelve hours of it!"

Cap blinked.  "Twelve hours?"

"The films must be watched together, as Tolkien intended," Thor's voice was solemn; Hank couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

"Be glad they cut Tom Bombadil out," Hank told Cap dryly.  "Or it would fifteen hours long."

"Don't worry," Jan said, in the tone of voice of someone who was not going to be argued with.  "We'll stop after Fellowship of the Ring."

  
* * *


End file.
